The Parent Trap > Netball Online > Netball Online Articles - Netball Online the World Wide Netball Community Forum

There was an interesting thread in the Chit Chat section of the forum this weekend about a Coach who was trying to do the best for her team, only to come up against the worst opposition possible……. A disgruntled parent. Forget about one-eyed umpires, the opposition playing mind-games, blind time-keepers and dodgy courts, field and equipment. In my opinion, parents can make or break the spirit of a player and/or team. I’ve seen it first hand and I can’t say that I’ve ever seen a child improve because of the negative attention of a side-line parent.

I have seen these *ahem* motivators at work. Screaming from the sidelines at their little gem, urging her/him onto better and brighter things, screaming at the umpires and abusing the opposition. I’ve also seen a Coach approach one of these ‘Moronic Mum’s’ and request that she either pipe down or leave the courtside. And the result of this request? The ‘MM’ stormed onto the court and grabbed her mortified daughter and was last seen stomping petulantly towards the car-park. What hope for the daughter? This little dot was a feisty little player – she worked great within the team, made very few mistakes and was the type who if she ended up on the ground, would jump up, brush herself off and rejoin the play without hesitation. And yet, I’ve never seen her back on a netball court since.

Since my two boys started school, we’ve encouraged them to participate in team sports and to date I’ve been a Cricket-Mum, a Touch-Mum, a Rugby-Mum and as of next week I’ll be a Soccer-Mum. Like all parents, I stand on the side-line and cheer the team, egg on my sons and eagerly gather around the Coach to see who will be the MVP for the day. Every game, I give the boys their ‘job’ for the day… stick with the team, share the ball, keep focused, or give it 100%. I should explain that they’re 5 and 7 years of age, so my instructions are given with the knowledge that a plane flying overhead, or a gecko spotted on the edge of the field are generally a big enough distraction that the entire team stops to investigate.

BUT, even with the littlies, the occasional ‘MM’ crops up. During Rugby last year, I saw one Mum give her boy such a telling off for dropping the ball on the try line just before he scored, that the wee man was left in tears, leaving the Coach to reassure the young lad that he hadn’t let the team down. To make it worse, my sons came home a couple of days later from school and in general conversation informed me that this young chap was getting a hard time from some of the other boys about having a ‘growly mum’. Is it any surprise that he didn’t bother signing up for a team sport this year?

Hmmm…. Are you spotting a pattern yet? These youngsters would rather stay at home after school, or in the weekends, than risk having their parents standing on the sideline. And these idiot Mums and Dads then have the gall to say that they don’t understand why their sons/daughters don’t want to participate anymore! And it’s not just criticism at the way these children are playing the game either…. Nor is it just reflected in team sports. Possibly the worst thing I’ve personally experienced was at the local swimming pool, where I overheard two mothers expressing their disgust at the way a young girl (aged 9 or 10 I guess) looked in her bathing suit. The young lady in question heard the remarks, blushed and was last seen heading to the changing rooms in tears. My own shock was soon overtaken by absolute fury that ANY adult would bully a child like that, so I walked over and told them that I would appreciate if they kept their opinions about my daughter to themselves! The look on their faces was simply priceless… I only wish I’d had the courage to give them both a shove into the pool, clothes and all! As for the young girl, well I didn’t see her again, but I hope that she continued with her swimming and instead of feeling any self-doubt over those cruel comments, she instead uses them as some sort of motivational “I’ll show you”!

I think in a way, we are all responsible for the side-line antics of these “MM’s’. We don’t like it, but by inaction we do condone it. They may not change if we speak up and tell them that their behaviour is unacceptable…. But most of them will at the very least shut up for the rest of that game. And hopefully, with enough comments and eye contact, they may actually learn to keep their verbal tirades to a minimum…. Giving their sons and daughters a chance to enjoy the game, develop sporting friendships and skills, and most of all have fun, which seems to be the one thing these “MM’s” have forgotten about.